Sending The Right Message The First Time When Online Dating

When you get into the online world of matchmaking websites you’ll soon begin to discover the importance and fine art of sending the right message to potential matches. Everything hangs in the delicate balance of that first message. You will project yourself as you ask someone out on a date, and you will be judged harshly by the recipient depending on what you say. It’s best to avoid the flippant message where you act like you’re too cool to care about a date. Avoiding putting yourself out there won’t result in meaningful matches. Your first message should show personality and genuine care. It’s best to craft a meaningful message full of intention and actual interest in who you’re talking to. Don’t create a standard first message and send it to every potential match. Take the time to interact with each woman individually as you’ll want to showcase different aspects of your own personality depending on whom you talk to. Not every match will want to hear about how you love to play viola, just like some will want to talk about hockey but not football. Take your time and figure out what you have in common and can bring to the table in a first meeting.

Getting To Know Her Through Her Profile Before You Message Her

“Read her profile carefully”

It’s important to figure out what you can from her profile before trying to message her that first time. Hopefully you will notice some similarities and thread those into the conversation to give you both a starting platform of similar interest to work from. Thankfully on matching sites there’s usually a reason they suggest certain matches and you should be able to find plenty to talk about with any of them. Cater your message to each match individually to help them feel like you are actually interested in them as an individual and not just another random match. Hopefully you can effectively start meaningful conversation mixed with some light hearted information about yourself that you didn’t divulge on your profile. You can repeat some of the basics, but also give them something more detailed and personal about yourself to go off of to increase the feeling that you are opening up to one another.

Use Your First Message As A Stepping Stone Not A Test

“Avoid complimenting about her body”

Be aware you won’t be able to discover everything about one another in a single message back and forth. It will take time and a lot more communication to determine if you are compatible together and if you should move forward with the relationship. Don’t judge too harshly in the first few messages and keep an open mind as you begin to discover more about each other. You can decide it’s not what you want at any time, but try not to create a first message that ends up being an ultimatum and the deciding factor in your ability to move forward with the relationship. Use your messages as a way to fuel communication in your relationship from day one.

Our Favorite Sites

Match logo image
eHarmony image logo
logo Xpress image

Top Picks for Online Matchmaking

#1 Site: Match
#2 Site: eHarmony
#3 Site: Xpress

Worst Sites

OKCupid logo image
On image logo
logo Mingle2 image
image POF logo
logo image LavaLife
image logo SinglesNet
logo image for MatchMaker
image logo for Meetic
SpeedDate logo img
MyFreePersonals img logo
logo Zoosk img
img Cupid logo
logo img Spark
img logo Date
logo img for Flirt
img logo for Mate1
MySingleFriend screen logo
CyberDating logo screen
screen JustSingles logo
logo BeautifulPeople screen