As much as we can push relationships of passion further, it can be much messier to try and scale them back. Once we have made a commitment and been sexual with someone it can be hard to see them and not want to return to those moments of passion. For many, it is simply not possible. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having committed to a long-term relationship and wanting to be less serious your partner will more than likely have a problem with it. It’s really not possible to come across in a positive way when you tell someone you want to be less serious about them. Many people will tell you to get lost if you suddenly feel less strongly about them. You may not want to lose your girlfriend, but she might dump you if you try to scale things back.
Taking The Open Relationship Approach
“Keeping an open relationship would be less insulting than break up”
If you seriously just want to keep having sex with her and don’t care what she does, you could try suggesting an open relationship. You can claim you want to be with her forever, you just want to be with other people too. This has the potential to be more or less insulting than simply wanting to break up with her, but if you don’t much care it can be a good option to try and keep getting laid regularly. Be sure you won’t mind seeing her have sex with other people, and if you truly don’t mind perhaps you can also suggest a threesome or orgy in the future. You both may find you simply need to keep things livelier to be interested in each other and an open relationship might help you. At least it will give you the excuse to have sex with whomever you want and branch out in your conquests.
Possible Backlash And Clinginess You May Encounter
“You’ll get dependent on her”
Think carefully before actually approaching the topic of scaling back your relationship if you are unsure or on the fence still. The idea of you being less interested or losing you to someone else in an open relationship is very likely to encourage clinginess and concern from your girlfriend. She will be afraid she’s losing you, and she may be right. It will encourage her to watch over you more often and worry all the time she is losing you. Expect lots of neediness and declarations of love that she will expect you to return if you decide to stay and work on your relationship. It may make the tension in your relationship worse than before and is more than likely to have you wanting to leave even more than before. It’s likely to destroy your relationship unless she is willing to have sex with you casually. Be prepared that you are most likely destroying the foundation of your relationship with her. But chances are if you want to scale things back, you are already very much done with wanting this relationship for yourself in the future and expect it to dissolve eventually.